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Covert narcissists go 0-100 over things that just simply do not justify all the anger. Whether the anger shows aggressively or passively, it is still there. Whether it is yelling and cursing, or huffing and coldly staring, that anger is felt by you, the victim. They communicate that you have crossed a line and upset them, and they make you pay for that violation.

Why in the world are covert narcissists so mad about such little things? You borrow their pen and forget to give it back, and you are thoughtless and selfish. You tell a funny story about them to a friend, and you are spiteful and rude. You hug a guy’s neck in public, and you are clearly having an affair with them or want to. You ask them to take out the trash, and you are being insensitive and mean.

Normal, everyday things that are a part of everyone’s everyday life. And yet, for you, it leads to incredibly uncomfortable situations with your spouse. You are now on the receiving end of disdain and contempt. You are put in your place for such rude and selfish behavior. I can’t believe you would treat your partner this way. At least, that’s what they are saying to you.