Marcus, Luke, Jim and David kick off the new year with a slice of familiarity, as Antonio Conte continues to moan about a lack of Spurs signings while the rot sets in and Ivan Toney continues his goalscoring shithousery. 

Elsewhere, the David Moyes Gloom hangs over West Ham while Arsenal have one hand on the Premier League trophy - sixteen games in. Get the ticker-tape! 

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