On this episode: Jamilah, Elizabeth, and Zak answer a question from a dad who is fed up with his four-year-old not listening. For the first time, he lost his temper and swatted her butt. He feels terrible and wants to know how to apologize. But he also wants to know how to get her to listen if a situation arises where something serious is going on and she needs to follow directions. Recommendations Zak: Letting your little ones pour their own syrup.  Elizabeth: Beast Academy Math Jamilah: America, Goddam: Violence, Black Women, and the Struggle for Justice by Treva B. Lindsey  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola, Jasmine Ellis, and Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices