On this episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth advise a parent whose first grader got mad at her for looking up ‘girl sweaters’ online. The first grader has also previously said that they want to be a boy, not a girl. Our letter writer wants to be supportive but doesn’t know if she should go all-in or sit back and let her kid reveal who they are.  Additional resources:  The Center How to Be a Girl  Supporting My Nonbinary Teen (Part one of ‘Teen Talk’)  We also have an exciting update from the listener who couldn’t handle the seat-belt war and occasionally let them drive unbuckled.  Recommendations:  Jamilah recommends chicken with miso caramelized apples, based on this pork chop recipe.  Elizabeth recommends Dot to Dot In the Sky: Stories of the Aurora by Joan Marie Galat Zak recommends this Naomi Fisher Twitter thread on child development Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices