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Raped by her father an incest survivor who was in foster care, in and out of her home and abused even after she was married, checking herself into an acute psychiatric hospital - with Nancy Allen
Podcast |
Becoming Parents
Media Type |
audio
Categories Via RSS |
Kids & Family
Parenting
Publication Date |
Nov 12, 2019
Episode Duration |
01:00:59

Nancy Allen, from Georgia by way of Massachusetts, is a father-daughter incest survivor. Her story moved me literally to tears in this interview.

Physically and emotionally abused from early childhood, Nancy was briefly mandated into a kinship foster care placement by social services at age 14, a year after the abuse turned sexual. This removal and related court ordered “punishment” of therapy made Nancy feel that she was as equally at fault as her father. Within a few months of her return home, the incest resumed, and over the next decade, her father created an escalating abusive environment to indulge his sadistic fantasies. When she was 28, her father died, and her repressed world exploded. She checked herself into an acute psychiatric hospital and began her healing journey. 

Nancy spent the next two decades channeling this experience into becoming a successful, strong woman both personally and professionally. On a personal level, she firmly believes in giving back to the community and helping others help themselves. She’s been an advocate for abused children and intellectually challenged adults, has fostered and adopted children, and served on the board of two related non-profits. Professionally, she has over 30 years of leadership experience in the financial services industry across numerous disciplines, with a passion for empowering individuals in the workplace. Initially focused on her teams' development, she later extended her reach and launched a comprehensive cross culture mentoring program for female colleagues based in India. 

Unfortunately, at age 49, Nancy’s world was turned upside down again when her husband of 28 years committed suicide while she was away from home for work. Compounding this trauma, she was forced to address the resurfacing of her childhood demons, having lost the “safe place” of her high school sweetheart's embrace. Although devastated by his loss, Nancy stepped up as the sole parent for her traumatized sons. She soon discovered that, even decades later, there were still very limited resources beyond therapy to help incest survivors through life’s difficult moments. Nonetheless, with assistance from her employer, family, and friends, she made a fresh start, relocated to Georgia, continued her healing journey and started the next chapter of her life. 

Enough is enough! Nancy’s focus after decades of repurposing all of her experiences, both good and bad, is to help create a world where incest survivors have a different life experience than she did. Feeling outside of the norm and disconnected from the larger community, resources didn’t exist to prevent her from feeling different, misunderstood and alone. She wants to champion others to say “I am an incest survivor” without shame, guilt, or fear of repercussions, and to open a dialogue which removes the societal taboo of acknowledging and discussing incest. Just as we rush to put out a house fire and support the survivors with love, compassion, and help, Nancy dreams that one day we will rush without judgment to extinguish the fire of incest. 

A strong voice for those shamed to silence and the long-term impacts of child sexual abuse, Nancy hosts Tail of the Bell podcast available on most podcast platforms. Each episode focuses on a specific topic interpreted through a featured incest survivor’s personal story and, where needed, further explored by experts. A trained life coach, Nancy also helps incest survivors help themselves through Tail of the Bell, Inc's programs. 

Website: www.tailofthebell.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tailofthebell LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancy-allen-tail-of-the-bell/ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tail-of-the-bell/id1458131463

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