How should you show up for people in grief? What do you say? What should you do? Why is it that beauty can exist alongside deep suffering? What can be said at funerals when the person who died was complicated? These are just a few of the questions I wanted to ask Steve Leder—a bestselling author and a rabbi who has presided over a thousand funerals with wisdom and kindness.  In this conversation, we discuss:   The mysterious way beauty can be found the closer we inch to death (our own or someone else’s). The importance of just showing up. And being you.  Honoring someone’s memory at the same time being truthful about how human they were The peace that comes from acknowledging that life is full of dualities  “If you have to go through hell, don’t come out empty handed” (Steve Leder), but no, the lessons were never, ever worth the pain CW: suicide, adult language *** Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here. Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter. THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here. We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started. Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices