In this special episode, Colorado Public Radio reporter Dan Boyce uses interviews with friends and family, plus a fishing trip, to piece together lost memories from his own mental breakdown. A quick warning: This story is brutal at times, and raw. It contains content that may not be suitable for all listeners, including strong language and frank discussion of suicide. By the time Dan was 30, when most of this episode takes place, he was doing well for himself. He was moving from local reporting in his native Montana, to covering national stories from his new home in Denver.

Dan had previously suffered from bouts of depression through most of his life, but nothing he couldn’t overcome. During this time though, Dan really slipped — descending into a depression so severe that it led to a complete mental breakdown.

On today’s episode, how Dan bounced back from the edge of insanity.

Here’s a story Dan calls “The Long Lonely Lake.”