The common understanding of the poltergeist as a tormented visitor from the past is, I discovered to my astonishment, false. The dead, in fact, roam freely, unbound by the constraints of linear time. It is of some comfort to know that the human species survives its avarice long enough to create men so many generations forth. Even if they do wear shirts imprinted with garish flowers and die choking on their own vomit…. Phantom Dave was written by Eleanor Whiteley and performed by Paul Fielder.