DAMN IT, RIGGS!

The special word of today’s episode is…”HOOKER”!

Seriously, though, everyone and their mom is naked at the beginning of Lethal Weapon. We don’t see how this movie COULDN’T remind you of The Color Purple. Listeners, here it is. We don’t care how big of a birthday he’s having. It is NEVER acceptable to surprise your dad with a cake while he’s naked in the tub.

When your prostitute daughter commits non-Kevorkian style suicide, who can you call but Roger Murtaugh and Martin Riggs? This hooker/heroin conspiracy is, quite simply, one of the top 5 Christmas movies of all time. To that end, whenever you find yourself in a Christmas tree lot, never forget to use the Fun Dip method of testing cocaine with your knife.

We interrupt this description to make a few announcements:

1. Here at #HindsightIsHorrifying, we don’t believe in product placement. #DrinkVariant
2. Contrary to Jason’s impression, Clark Gable was not trying to commit suicide in WWII.
3. Darth was also incorrect about the details behind the passing of Hunter-Steve-Irwin-stabbed-hundreds-of-times-by-stingray-cameraman-reveals.html">Steve Irwin; she formally apologizes to cameramen everywhere and sincerely hopes that you’re all still alive. 

Mel Gibson IS the lethal weapon. He’s basically Jairo from @BobsBurgersFOX; he takes down Mr. Joshua with sexy dance fighting (belated spoiler alert). John Roberts, you’re Darth’s TV mom and she loves you.

Fun fact: In the 80s, women were only allowed to do cocaine if they were dressed as a catholic school girl or a dominatrix. Thankfully, we’ve moved passed that in 2019. #Feminism

Lethal Weapon begs the question: Is it better to smuggle heroin in coffee or egg nog? Either way, sloths make rather considerate neighbors.

Can anyone put Darth in touch with the helicopter pilot from this movie? She wants to shake his hand, but not as badly as she wants Mel Gibson to murder her with his thighs. She wants you to Jailhouse Rock her world. #TombstoneMoment

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