Welcome to another edition of the Leadership AdvantEdge.

And this week I'm challenging the idea that a win-win solution is an ideal to strive for. if everybody wins, there is no new value created. It is merely exchanged.

Whether you are negotiating a business deal, starting a new venture, having a debate with your kids or your partner. We've been fed a lie for years. And that lie is that we should always aim to get a win-win solution.

I win and you win. Should be good right? The trouble is that life, and the other humans you are dealing with are not truly interested in a win-win solution at all. Otherwise, capitalism dies. Perhaps not such a bad thing, but if everybody wins, and the idea is that this is fair, then no-one sees growth in value. And if that happens.... pray tell, why would you do it?

The reality is that win-win is a disguised way of keeping track. It is to make sure that everyone comes out even. That no-one gets an advantage.

Most people realise this and usually seek to gain the upper hand in some aspect.