Jingle All the Way: “It’s Turbo Time!”

Adam Darby is back to make Darth and Jason feel as old as possible. Young Adam was FOUR in 1996, you guys (he totally missed the Olympics in Atlanta). But he made up for his glaringly young age with his killer Arnold impressions. He is accompanied by his delightful girlfriend, Alyssa, who is not a policeman. She’s a PRINCESS!

In this particular film, you witness Tickle Me Elmo culture at its absolute worst. The lesson gleaned from this Christmas movie is that, if you don’t get your kid a toy for Christmas, he will become Darth Methamphetamine. Also, your postman will threaten to blow up a radio DJ. So get your kid that special toy they want; Polly Pocket might be a choking hazard, but not in a David Carradine kind of way.

Jingle All the Way displays the typical 90s trope of terrible dads attempting to make up their bad behavior in extreme ways. #Hindsighters, NEVER miss your kid’s karate concert; you’ll never hear the end of it and Phil Hartman WILL try to eat your wife’s cookies.

On this podcast for the TV Generation, we never look back on our childhoods with cynicism, just friendly advice:

1. If you want to nail your neighbor’s wife, don’t forget to train your pet reindeer to attack said neighbor.
2. Booster is the Dane Cook of the Turbo Man universe.
3. “If you wanna get your cat drunk … do it responsibly.” – Jason Mitchell
4. Virtual Flashing is a thing, and fellas, we women are here to tell you that we don’t want unsolicited pictures of your junk.

#Hindsighters, this has been a fabulous Christmas season. Your favorite podcasters have thoroughly enjoyed ruining your most beloved Christmas films and have to warn you that there is only one more #HIH episode for the next few weeks. Enjoy listening to Darth and Jason while they are wild and unchecked, because 2020 will be a rude awakening with many changes to come (phrasing, first, BOOM!).

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