Copper! Aluminum! Iron! These are METALS. We are made out of some of them, but only in pathetic, insulting quantities. We hardly register to magnets, and our capacity to conduct is negligible! May we scorn flesh, and praise metal! METAL—the most cost-effective conduit of Story proper. Guest Preacher: Jake Young (Wizard and the Bruiser podcast, Cartoon Hell on dropout.tv, @bestjakeyoung) Invocation Psalm: “Greasy” Liturgical Reading: “Iron Churnsly” Concluding Prayer Next Tuesday will be the day the Story finds you and finally robs you of your will to resist the Story.