Description:

If you struggle with relationships, maybe the barrier lies in your subconscious mind. In this episode of Woman Worriers, host Elizabeth Cush and her guest, Thais Gibson, talk about retraining the brain to achieve better relationships with the people in your life.

Quotes:

“My conscious mind can’t actually out-will or overpower the subconscious mind.” — Thais Gibson

“Attachment style is the rules we have for relating to others.” — Thais Gibson

“We need attachment to survive.” — Thais Gibson

“It’s repetition plus emotion that programs the subconscious mind.” — Thais Gibson

“The mind takes its core wounds and its fears and, at a subconscious level, it projects all those things back out.” — Thais Gibson

“All memory is colored with emotion.” — Thais Gibson

“The psyche freezes in time when we have trauma.” — Thais Gibson

“What are the stories? What is the meaning I am giving to this experience?” — Thais Gibson

EPISODE 125

Show Notes:

If you’ve ever felt that you and your partner are each following a different rulebook, you might already have some insight into the challenges that different attachment styles bring to relationships. In this episode of the Woman Worriers podcast, host Elizabeth Cush, LCPC, of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md., welcomes Thais Gibson, MA, speaker, founder of The Personal Development School and author of Attachment Theory: A Guide to Strengthening the Relationships in Your Life. They talk about attachment wounds and attachment styles and how they affect our lives and relationships. They also discuss the role of the subconscious, how it often keeps us from achieving fulfilling relationships or reinforces unwanted behaviors, and how we can learn to reprogram the mind, heal our attachment wounds and find personal freedom.

Listen and learn:

• Why we need to tap into the subconscious mind in order to create change and heal
• What integrated attachment theory is and how it differs from traditional attachment theory
• The rules we have for relating to others—and why others might be playing with a different rulebook
• What shapes each of the four attachment styles and how they look in our relationships
• Why our early experience of attachment has such a deep impact
• The connection between attachment styles and core wounds—and why the subconscious is the key to healing them
• Why affirmations alone aren’t enough to create transformation and how you can reprogram the subconscious for healing
• What the person with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style needs in a relationship
• Where the person with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style feels safest
• Why persons with fearful-avoidant, or disorganized, attachment style are often the most traumatized—and the trait the often develop to deal with it
• How the subconscious can sabotage you while trying to get your needs met
• The subconscious beliefs underlying co-dependency
• The five key components that make up an attachment style
• The importance of identifying the beliefs we have related to our core wounds
• The relationship between beliefs, thoughts, emotions and neurochemicals—and what it takes to change them
• How to speak the language of the subconscious
• Why individuals with insecure attachment styles don’t have relationships with themselves
• The importance of understanding and expressing your own needs
• Why you need to make sure your “need buckets” are full every day
• How the negative and positive associations we form determine where we turn when our needs are not met
• How to stop binge eating candy (or other go-to stress behaviors)
• How to create healthier habits when the pandemic is keeping you separate from family, friends and community
• Why digging into discomfort can provide useful feedback
• How to learn your own attachment style

Resources:

Learn More

> Thais Gibson’s Personal Development School website

> Thais Gibson on Instagram

> The Personal Development School on YouTube

> Attachment Theory: A Guide to Strengthening the Relationships in Your Life by Thais Gibson

> About Dr. John Bowlby 

> About Dr. Mary Ainsworth

> About Dr. Gary Chapman

> Progression Counseling