On the 14th day since the Australian Open started, we rested while Novak wept. The victimhood tour is complete, Jonathan is annoyed, and we pay it as much (or as little) attention as we can muster. Meanwhile, Aryna Sabalenka did THAT. Wow, what a moment. From her grit, skill, and determination on court, to her goofy glamour the following day, we put some respect on that incredible women's final! Other matters of business: lots of geopolitical tensions boil over, the Djokovic pater creates yet more headache for his son, Tursunov comes for Pam, the ballkids work for free, and Babs and Kat simply don’t lose Slam matches anymore. 

3:00 Sabalenka & Rybakina give us an insta-classic

16:15 The men: so …… anyway

23:45 The bweh tragedy; and Shelton’s upside and areas for improvement

31:15 Doubles: Krejcikova/Siniakova haven’t lost a Slam match since 2021; Sania plays her final Slam

35:10 Et ceteras: so, nationalism eh?

43:05 Papa Djokovic ignites a flag scandal

52:05 Pam’s tweet brings Tursunov out of the woodwork, why?

63:55 Is it work? Pay the ballkids 

67:45 Tiafoe wins best dressed by a mile

72:00 ESPN keeps its team Stateside

74:30 Punting the Kosmos mess but staying for the strawberry jam

77:15 Extras: rankings movers, TBS fantasy, and a disclaimer