Frame 3: With the competition delicately balanced at one frame apiece, Me1 and Me2 are battling to see who will enter the new year in the ascendancy. And though both are suffering post-Christmas illness, Dr Snooker Hall comes to their aid for a scintillating frame of snooker, showing both the most expert and amateur play yet. By now their different personalities and playing styles are beginning to shine through and their mutual resentment is growing, though both Mes seem to want to sort out their issues where it counts - on the green baize of the snooker board. One Me's fans will be ending the year cock-a-hoop, but the other Me's fans will be licking their wounds. Or the cock hoops of the opposing fans. Whatever they like. It's Christmas after all. And remember those of you who got a snooker table from Santa this year, a snooker table is for life, not just for Christmas. If you hone your skills in a quarter of a century you might be as adept at this game as Me1 and Me 2. Who will win? Do you care enough to waste 30 more minutes finding out? You know you do. You idiot.