“Hi there, I haul shopping carts for a living, been doing it for 18 years, so gimme a f*ckin cheque please.”

The shopping cart is an important tool of consumption in the United States of America.  You fill it with all the necessities you need in your life like spray cheese, light beer, and condoms.  The shopping cart is a symbol of happiness (and capitalism).

However, John has noticed that many people in this great country, namely a Meijer in Lincoln Park, Michigan, have been disrespecting the great and symbolic shopping cart by not returning them to the cart corral.  These people are scum, vermin, and, for lack of a better term, a bunch of assholes.  They need to be punished.  The guy in the Oval Office should do his job and make sure that these people are put in some sort of internment camp.  Their behavior is absolutely disgusting and reprehensible.

Also, RIP FARMER JACK.