“Ya can’t win a championship without gays…that’s science” – those were the words uttered by the infamous Megan Rapinoe as the Women’s US Soccer team took the title of world champions. And it’s true. From the earliest organized games at the Greek Olympics to modern day sports, the queers have been there every sprint and every mile along the way. Join us as we discuss some of the gayest competitions ever played. As well as some of the biggest homos in sport history. Proving that you really can’t win a championship without the gays. “You can’t win a championship without gays on your team – It’s never been done before, ever. That’s science right there”. These words were uttered by World Cup hero and queer icon Megan Rapinoe. She was referring specifically to the women’s USA soccer team. But we imagine her comment could be applied to most sports teams throughout history. In honor of the Soccer teams incredible victory a few weeks ago, we decided to give a brief history of gays in sports. As well as a short list of some of the most incredible queers to ever play the game. This episode will be shorter than most and some of these players will be covered individually in the future. But for now, let’s dive into a loose timeline of queer sports. And of course we head all the way back to the original games, the Olympics. You’ll be hard pressed to find a gayer place than Olympics of early Greece. The games were basically a tribute to the male physique and the collosseums were packed with men eager to watch other men – oiled, sweaty, and naked – participate in various sports. Anthropologist Greg Laden said of the early Olympics: “Everyone knows that the original Olympics… were all about watching naked men. Sure, it was a sporting event, but it was also a softly pornographic group voyeuristic tournament.” Of course, nudity wasn’t taboo as it is today. But the Greeks took things to a new level. In fact, the word gym comes from this era and the word gymnos which is interpreted simply as naked. One author, Tony Perrottet, got right to the point and wrote a book titled Naked Olympics. Here he describes the rituals of naked athletes parading up and down the stadiums as adoring fans wrote beautiful poetry to the athletes. One writer stated, “Happy is the lover who, after spending time in the gymnasium, goes home to sleep all day long with a beautiful, young man.” Pottery and images of the naked athletes were also made so that individuals could continue to take in the muscled and bare forms of their Olympian heroes.  But the artwork still couldn’t compare to the real thing. During the games athletes often had to tie their penises to their bodies to protect them. Which made the appendages seem erect. The Closet Professor wrote about this tactic. [I]n order to protect their penis during wrestling matches and other contact sports, the men would tie a string around the tip of their foreskin enclosing their glans, thus keeping them safe. The kynodesme was tied tightly around the part of the foreskin that extended beyond the glans. The kynodesme could then either be attached to a waist band to expose the scrotum, or tied to the base of the penis so that the penis appeared to curl upwards. But if you’re just thinking this sounds gay but doesn’t mean it was gay, well we have further proof. There are plenty of stories of men enjoying sexual encounters in the locker rooms or during practice. The men also indulged in crude locker room grafitti in and outside the gym. On the temple Apollo in Thera the words Here Crimon penetrated Amotion appear on a corner. And the entire entry to the stadium Nemea is filled with love letters from one athlete to another. At the Dioclean games the final round of a game was judged by the competitor who gave “the sweetest kisses”.