The Screeners indulged a little in the last episode, talking about only what they wanted to talk about. Now it’s time to give the Academy their due—but before we do that, we hear there was some kind of sporting event not too long ago…

Are You Overpaid and Too Famous? Here’s a Trophy!

As any media wonk knows, the Super Bowl is all about the commercials. The Screeners just had to take a little time up front to review the most memorable ads of the year—that is, if there were any. The last few Super Bowls haven’t seemed like what we’re used to from the biggest ad day of the year; can this one pull us out of the slump?

After our brief journey to the small screen, it’s back to...well, technically the small screen again, but at least the Oscars are about the big screen. It’s time for the Screeners to pretend they care about awards shows. (OK, some of them actually do care, but we’re withholding their names out of professional courtesy. You can send hate mail after you’ve heard the episode.) We don’t have time for every category, but we might as well at least drop some predictions for the major awards and talk a little about the year’s biggest snubs and loudest controversies while we’re at it. Isn’t Hollywood fun?

The Futility of Absurdism

Alright; enough TV for real. Time to go see an actual movie. Hail, Caesar! is the latest from the celebrated Coen brothers, and you might have heard by now that it hasn’t been doing so well at the box office. Before we bury the poor guy, though, let’s see if there’s any praise to be had. Surely the 15 or so household names in this film couldn’t have all signed up for a bad script. Maybe there’s something in the cinematography to grab Chris’s attention. Hey; it’s set in California—maybe there’s an earthquake in there for Daniel! Fine; at the very least, we bet there’s something everyone can argue about...

Wait; hold on a second. We just now got all those salad jokes we’ve been seeing in the headlines of reviews for Hail, Caesar! “Caesar” is a kind of salad, and you don’t like salad! Man, so clever. We hope they pay you well, movie critics. You’re worth every penny.

OK; if you’re still listening after that main event, congratulations! You’re more dedicated than Josh. Head over to Facebook to tell us what you think—unless you didn’t like Hail, Caesar! If that’s the case, you should probably go to Rotten Tomatoes; you’ll make lots of friends over there.