Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic. 

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In this episode, Dr. Gilbert discusses the importance of recognizing the foundation for our sexual ethic and honestly evaluating if that ethic is informed by scripture.

God has a perfect design for sex and intercourse, and that is in a heterosexual marriage. Teaching this to our children is critical. Living this out is imperative. We also need to explain to our children why we believe as we do, so that they can, in turn, lead others toward good things, not condemn them. We ought to be full of love, grace, compassion, care — even worry — and then reach out a helping hand and be patient for God to do His work in the lives of those we are serving, in His time, and in His manner. We are just called to be faithful. Your theology matters. Your beliefs about homosexuality matter.

 What does Scripture say about homosexuality?

There are five passages that specifically mention homosexuality, but these Scripture passages are quickly twisted and manipulated to mean something different from a traditional ethic. At this point using these passages for any debate or argument becomes difficult. What I personally choose to do is to stick to a biblical sexual ethic in a more general sense. Scripture clearly limits sexual relationships to one single place — between a man and a woman - within the committed marriage bed. There is no other place for genital sexual expression. This confirms a sexual ethic that answers questions about homosexuality. Genital sexual experiences are never permissible with the same sex.

 A biblical sexual ethic rests in scriptures such as these:

 Naked and Unashamed—Genesis 2:24–25

“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame” (NLT).

 Her Breasts—Proverbs 5:19:

“She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love” (NLT).

 Lust = Adultery—Matthew 5:28:

“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (NLT).

 Become One Flesh—Matthew 19:4-6:

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV).

 Remain Single—Better to Marry than to Burn — 1 Corinthians 7:8–9:

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (NIV).

 Sexual Immorality—Mathew 15:19:

“For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander” (NLT).

 Acts 15:19–20:

“It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality...” (NIV).

 1 Corinthians 6:18–20:

“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body” (NLT).

 1 Corinthians 7:2–7:

“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that” (NIV).

 Galatians 5:19–21:

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God” (NLT).

 Colossians 3:5:

“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world” (NLT).

 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5:

“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways” (NLT).

 Hebrews 13:4.

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery” (NLT).

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