Death Race 2000: Try Not to Think About Auto Erotic Asphyxiation.

On this week’s episode, Jason gains gender support from our first male guest, podcast virgin, Adam, who selected one of the most bizarre and fantastic movies that Darth has ever seen. And she remembers the time of VHS!

You might be surprised that Adam was disciplined enough to stay dry during our run of Much Ado About Nothing until Darth and Jason got a hold of him; we’re such a bad influence on our guests. But if we’re going to peer pressure a friend into drinking, we’ll make sure they’re drinking Variant because our product placement is on point.

On a different note, we wouldn’t assume that we’d have to tell you this, listeners, but consider yourselves warned, because In Man vs. Car, the car always wins. This is especially true if two brothers with a strong bond are driving a van over your pathetic fisherman body.

Machine Gun Joe has Bene-real-dick (we’ll see ourselves out). But seriously ladies, remember to keep something sweet in your ear unless you want a swift punch to the face.

With that not-so-subtle nod to a Shakespearean character, we’re expecting ALL of you to attend our show that opens this weekend, May 10, at 7:30 pm in Wills Park. This invite includes all our Aussie friends. You’ve got time; buy a plane ticket.

You listeners have no idea how hard Adam and Darth have been working on this play; they went so far with their characterization that they’re not even sure who they are anymore. If you’re interested in discovering their process, it’s something akin to the Emma Stone method from The Actress. Despite their best efforts as actors, however, Adam and Darth are simply too wise to squanch peaceably.

Also, Jason is the director of the play…or, something. No one really cares.

As always, we can’t let you leave us without some parting wisdom learned from Death Race 2000:

1. There’s nothing sexier than a man who slowly peels off his pleather gimp suit before making love to you with his 6 Million Dollar Man parts.
2. Don’t call Adam “Benedict”; he’ll be a real dick about it (once again, we’ll see ourselves out).
3. It’s never okay to Cosby your navigator. Keep your puddin’ pop in your pants, fellas.

Finally, to all our ladies out there: Improve your three-point-turn if you don’t want to be blown up by a landmine or a “hand grenade”.

Until next time, keep that blood lust pumping.

After all, you can’t earn points without mowing down some infants and geriatrics.

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