Welcome to Day 2379 of Wisdom-Trek. Thank you for joining me.

This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom

Day 2379 – OUR STRANGE LIFE – THE GIVE AND TAKE OF DOMESTIC HARMONY 1 PETER 3:1-7 – Daily Wisdom

Putnam Church Message – 05/12/2024 Our Strange Life – The Give and Take of Domestic Harmony 1 Peter 3:1-7 Last week, we realized that as Christ followers, we will not only be the recipients of unjust treatment at times but that there are benefits in bearing the brunt of that treatment in a message titled, Pressing on Even Though Ripped Off. This week, we are shifting from submitting to government authorities and employers to how we should practice mutual submission in our home in a message titled, The Give-and-Take of Domestic Harmony. I know some of you no longer have a spouse, so this message may not be directly applicable, but use Peter's lessons to help friends and family that may need your advice. Today’s passage is 1 Peter 3:1-7, on page 1889 of your Pew Bibles. I will read it today from the NLT because it focuses more clearly on keywords. ¹ In the same way, your wives must accept your husbands' authority. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over ² by observing your pure and reverent lives. ³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. ⁵ This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. ⁶ For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. ⁷ In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should| so your prayers will not be hindered. Just like it is impossible to drive a car with two steering wheels and each spouse trying to wrestle control from the other, a better analogy for a healthy marriage is that of a row boat, where both must paddle in harmony to make any progress. Having been married to Paula for forty-five years this August, I've become a realist about marriage— not an idealist. While overall, our marriage has been rock-solid and, yes, even pleasant, there have been years of learning and growth, which includes difficulty, delight, discovery, heartaches, disappointments, hurtful times, and ecstatic moments together. These experiences have made our marriage stronger. The apostle Peter, too, spoke about marriage, but not from some remote prophet's cave or in a scholar's ivory tower.| No, Peter was married. His wife accompanied him on many of his travels (1 Cor. 9:5). They were co-workers in the Kingdom of God. Peter knew firsthand the struggles all married couples endure. Like a diamond in a platinum setting, Peter's focus on Christian marriage is set amid his discussion of our strange life as believers living in a hopeless and hostile world. Throughout this letter, Peter has spotlighted Jesus Christ, with whom we can find hope in hurtful times. Remember, in the immediate context of this passage, Peter is discussing submission. He has just called on believers to submit—for the sake of Christ—to human institutions and masters, even those who treat them harshly (2:13-25). We must submit because it will bring honor to God and keep those on the outside from having a basis for attacking Christianity. We can submit because Christ serves as an example of patient endurance through undeserved suffering for a greater purpose and with an eye toward the hope of glory that follows. So, is Peter hinting that living in marital harmony may require the ability to live in a situation that can be unfair and sometimes even unbearable? Most marriages I know aren't exactly unbearable. Tough, challenging, and frustrating? Yes. But usually not so excruciating that they can't be tolerated or so dangerous that they're borderline deadly. That's not a typical marriage. I also know that almost all marriages go through days, weeks, maybe even recurring periods that are difficult to bear, in which one partner drives the other to the brink of exhaustion or even despair. Peter addresses marital struggle, offering hope by following Jesus Christ's example. -3:1-6- Peter begins with the phrase “In the same way'' or “likewise” (homoiõs). This connective phrase immediately sends us back to Peter's previous discussion, since it prompts us to ask, “In the same way as what?” A more appropriate question should be, “In the same way as whom?” It shouldn't surprise us that the immediate context is the example of Christ's faithfulness to the plan and purpose of God. But this call to imitate Christ entails faithful citizenship (2:13) and faithful service (2:18). In other words, just as we are called to be faithful to the institutions of government and servanthood, we should also be faithful to the institution of marriage. We should not be surprised when Peter reiterates the same command he has given citizens and servants: “You wives must accept the authority of your husbands.” It's the same verb, hypotassõ, meaning to subject oneself to another, with the implication of following the other's lead in obedience. I am acutely aware of how sensitive the issue of submission in marriage can be, especially in a world where wives have too often been the object of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of husbands who display nothing of the love of Christ. Peter will address husbands later in verse 7. I don't believe Peter has any intention of forcing a person to endure the abuse of that kind of relationship, in which a wife or husband risks health or life to stay faithful to the marriage. That's not submission; that’s intolerable surrender. On the other hand, some have interpreted this passage on marital roles as a product of Peter’s cultural context, irrelevant in today's world. So, it becomes a mere option—and an outdated one at that. But wouldn't that mean submitting to human government is also optional? Or that insubordination at work is now acceptable for Christians? Though popular, this kind of relativistic approach to the principles of Scripture doesn't work. So, conscious of the two ditches on either side of this narrow path, we should let Peter's own words explain this wise counsel to wives and husbands. In the first six verses, I find four implied imperatives woven into the fabric of Peter's general principle of a wife's call to submit to the leadership of her husband. Let's look more closely at each of them. (Bulletin Insert) First, Peter urges wives to analyze their actions (3:1-2). Peter first addresses a typical response to the principle of submission: “Turnabout is fair play; I’ll be the kind of wife God wants me to be—when George is the kind of husband God wants him to be!” However, 1 Peter 3:1 explicitly portrays a husband not living up to biblical ideals. Peter says wives should accept the authority of your husbands. “Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News.” The phrase at least means those not living by biblical principles, but it could also include those who have not personally submitted to the Lordship of Christ. Peter isn’t writing this to “put wives in their place.” Accepting their authority (giving them respect) has a greater purpose than simply domestic order: “Your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over. Here's the point: when a Christian wife lives a Christlike life, her attitudes and actions can win over a husband who might otherwise be hard-hearted toward biblical truth. Peter says such a husband may be drawn to Christ by observing your pure and reverent lives. (3:2). The term “observe” (epopteuõ) implies a careful observation, not a casual glance. Peter has in mind a consistently virtuous character. This chaste and respectful submission is not a cringing, spineless cowering. It's the commitment of a wife to innocence, purity, and devotion to her husband. It requires a calm spirit of unselfish cooperation rather than flashes of stubborn opposition. A wife like that cannot—and will not—be ignored. Second, Peter urges wives to watch their adornment (3:3). The Greek word translated “beauty or adornment" is the word (kosmos), from which we get the term “cosmetics." It refers to anything used to beautify or decorate. Please note that Peter does not forbid using cosmetics, jewelry, or hairstyling appropriately. Some have taken this out of its context and opted for a “plain Jane" approach, resulting in an unkempt, even sloppy appearance that draws attention to the externals just as much as an exaggerated, flamboyant adornment. That approach misses Peter's point. Wives who use cosmetics appropriately and in good taste are not “worldly." However, those who substitute an emphasis on their external appearance for the lack of cultivating their internal character have chosen the wrong priority. Third, Peter urges wives to check their attitudes (3:4). Verse four begins with a strong contrasting conjunction. Peter points his readers to the heart's internal attitudes rather than the body's external adornments. The word “heart" (kardia) refers to the source of one’s true character. Though the source of this adornment is invisible, it manifests itself in external words and actions. So, in verses 3 and 4, Peter contrasts kosmos with kardia, the external with the internal, the superficial decking of one's body with the superior displaying of one’s virtue. It may take only a few hours to prepare for an elegant evening, but it takes a lifetime to build an elegant character. Fourth, Peter urges wives to evaluate their attention (3:5-6). To illustrate the principle of biblical submission, Peter turns to Old Testament heroines, whom he calls “holy women . . . put their trust in God" (3:5). We should take careful note of Peter's connection between holiness and hope—a theme he has developed and will continue to expand throughout the letter. By hoping in God—turning their full attention to Him as the source of strength, holiness, provision, and protection—the saints of old were able to conduct themselves in humility, gentleness, and submission. Apart from this divine hope, |such a divine disposition is impossible to maintain. Also, note how Peter uses the phrase “made themselves beautiful" (kosmeõ) for the inner attitudes that manifest themselves in words and deeds. Sarah, the wife of Abraham, became the model of this kind of hopeful and holy submission to her husband. She showed him respect in her words and works, which she did without fear. She didn't rebel, lash out, or abandon Abraham so she could do her own thing. She gave him the attention and honor due to him as her husband. Some may be tempted to cross their arms and respond, “Okay, but Sarah was married to Abraham—the father of faith! If my husband were a saint like Abraham, I'd gladly follow him wherever he goes!” But let's not forget the hard life Sarah had to endure as the wife of Abraham. Think about these things from Sarah's perspective. From Sarah's perspective, Abraham may have appeared unpredictable, devious, foolish, rash, and irresponsible. Her estimation of the man would have been entirely accurate in some cases! Yet Peter tells us in 1 Peter 3:6,  that Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. This was undoubtedly culturally based and a sign of respect. Sarah becomes a paragon of submission for all believers not because of her secure and perfect marriage, but because of her insecure and imperfect marriage.   — 3:7 — Peter doesn't drop a heavy weight on the side of wives and let husbands go scot-free. Though he only addressed husbands in one verse, that single verse contains three strong imperatives, either explicit or implied: live with your wife, know your wife, and honor your wife. Before we jump into those commands, please note how he begins his address to husbands: “You husbands in the same way” (homoiõs). This language parallels Peter’s opening line to wives: In the same way, you wives… (3:1) In the same way, you husbands... (3:7) Just as Christian wives have specific responsibilities in marriage, Christian husbands have equally important roles to play. First, husbands are to live with their wives. The phrase means more than “putting up with" or “surviving." It means dwelling together in a close relationship—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Husbands too easily substitute making a good living and meeting physical needs instead of sharing their time, words, and feelings. But this kind of close relationship is necessary to live with their wives honestly. Second, husbands are to understand their wives. The Greek text literally states that husbands are to dwell together with their wives “according to knowledge." This has nothing to do with superficial knowledge like her favorite colors or least favorite foods. Nor does it pertain to psychological knowledge about the needs of women in general. No, Peter means a deep understanding and appreciation of one's wife. It includes perceiving her most intimate desires and personal needs. It involves discerning her unspoken concerns and worries. It also includes assisting her in working through issues in a careful, caring manner. It's directly related to “living together," meaning a constant, moment-by-moment understanding of one's wife. We too often want to fix what we perceive as a problem instead of just listening and understanding her. Along with this understanding, Peter urges husbands to treat their wives as they would treat, literally, a “precious vessel." Peter's description of the “precious or weaker vessel" isn't meant to demean a woman or regard her with less value—just the opposite! This can't mean that women are morally or intellectually weaker than men. I have been up close and personal enough to understand that someone who can endure the trials of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood is certainly not an indication of weakness. Instead, most commentators believe this phrase refers to the general physical strength of women as compared to men. Men are physiologically built to have greater muscle mass than women on average. This means that in a game of tug-of-war, the men would usually win if we had ten average men on one side of a rope and ten average women on the other. So, when Peter calls on husbands to understand their wives, treating them as one would treat a delicate vessel, he has in mind a woman's need for physical care and protection. This is still true today,| but it was especially relevant in the ancient world, where a woman could easily fall victim to crime or be taken advantage of legally without a husband's protection. But another implication is that Peter calls on husbands to reject all verbal and physical abuse of their wives. Behind Peter's words looms a sharp rebuke—“What kind of sick man, built physically stronger than his wife, would even consider lifting a hand to her?'' Third, husbands are to honor and respect their wives. At this point, Peter makes it clear that he views women as honorable and equal partners in the marriage relationship. Husbands are to assign their wives a place of honor. A man's wife should be his top priority, occupying the most significant place not only in his heart and mind but also in his schedule. He should honor her with his words and through his actions. She deserves this kind of honor because “she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.” Husband and wife share a common relationship with their Lord Jesus Christ. In the physical and spiritual realm, they are unquestionably equal. Fourth, husbands must understand the purpose of maintaining domestic harmony: “so your prayers will not be hindered." Have you ever tried to pray after having an argument with your wife or anyone? How easy is it to hold your husband's hands in prayer after butting heads in conflict? When a husband and wife don't keep their married life intact, they'll have trouble keeping their spiritual life on track. Why? Because there's a direct relationship between the love of God and the love of our fellow believers (1 Jn. 4:20). Marriage, then, functions like a barometer, measuring our spiritual lives through an everyday relationship. Think about it. If Jesus Christ is in the midst of two people gathered in His name (Matt. 18:20), just imagine how powerful the prayers of a unified husband and wife can be, which, more than any human analogy, pictures the union between Christ and His church (Eph. 5:31-32)! APPLICATION: 1 PETER 3:1-7 Beyond Crotchety Husbands and Ornery Wives Let's be honest. Many husbands have a real problem understanding and honoring their wives. They tend to crowd their schedules with things that advance their careers or, satisfy their interests, or inflate their egos rather than things that build closeness with their wives....