We’re on break, creating all new episodes for season 3. In the meantime, here’s one of our favorite episodes from the past year. See you soon.

If you’ve lived through horrific trauma or abuse, is it really fair of us to say that the ways you’ve learned to cope are “bad,” or to use clinical speak, “maladaptive”? This week on Here After, Stephanie Foo, author of What My Bones Know, joins me to talk about complex PTSD and the ways we pathologize human responses to trauma. You’ll also hear how claiming your own messy, complex coping mechanisms can help you build a community that sees you and loves you. 

If you’re haunted by any type of trauma, or know someone who is, this conversation is a great introduction to complex PTSD, and the work of survivorship. 

In this episode we cover: 

• Why pretending to be a high-performing badass is maybe not in your best interest
• How storytelling can make you feel less freakish and alone
• The real problem with most books on trauma and C-PTSD

Click here for the episode webpage.

Notable quotes: 

“People are like, oh, you're so brave to have shared your story. And I was like, I burned down my whole life. There was nothing to lose anymore, so there was nothing to be brave about.” - Stephanie Foo

About our guest: 

Stephanie Foo is a C-PTSD survivor, writer, and radio producer, most recently for This American Life. Her work has aired on Snap Judgment, Reply All, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab. A noted speaker and instructor, she has taught at Columbia University and has spoken at venues from Sundance Film Festival to the Missouri Department of Mental Health. She lives in New York City with her husband.

Read Stephanie’s book, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Find her at stephaniefoo.me and follow her on Instagram @foofoofoo and Twitter @imontheradio 

Find a great conversation about What My Bones Know on Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper at this link 

Additional resources

It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better. (available in paperback, e-book, & audiobook)

For a collection of tools and coping skills related to grief and trauma, check out my illustrated guided journal, How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed. (available in paperback and for Kindle)

Get in touch:

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. 

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Have a question, comment, or a topic you’d like us to cover? Visit megandevine.co to get in touch.

For more information, including clinical training and resources, visit us at www.megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok

Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A sessions. All the info at this link. 

Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You’re Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed.

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