We open the phone lines to settle your most contentious food disputes this week. Eliza wants to wipe her oily hands on her bare legs — is her boyfriend Connor right to object? Then, Natalie thinks she’s entitled to half of what her husband Josh cooks, even though he’s generally hungrier. What’s the fairest way to divvy up meals? To answer these questions, Dan enlists the help of Drew Magary and David Roth, the extremely opinionated co-hosts of The Distraction podcast and co-founders of Defector Media. //

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Transcript available at www.sporkful.com.