DISCUSSED: nasty, brutish, and short sleep; watching TV with a game controller; Dan has to deal with suite concatenation; your hosts crave the expertise of a craftsman; Merlin realizes he and his lady friend see very different forests (spoiler: hers is way better); popcorn ceiling comes in cans; your hosts contrast their views on kipple, sentimentality, and need; Dan struggles to turn off his buttons, and Merlin loves his iPad's Paste button; provisional, anecdotal praise for ATT's Call Protect service; there's a distinction between long sleep and good sleep; Dan has to stab a prestige TV doppelgänger, and Merlin learns about Night Company; Merlin has recommendations for a Mac automation app, a new David Sparks Field Guide, and a handy new IoT dingus; speculation that smart home adoption truly won't tip until the interactions get less dorky; mobile charging options for travel are debated; everybody needs a Dad Hat; and, finally, with only three days of school left, Dan receives a very concerning email.