7 Secrets to Surviving an Entrepreneurial Marriage - Pt. 1 - Dave and Carrie Woodward - FHR #321
Publisher |
Dave Woodward
Publication Date |
Mar 14, 2019
Episode Duration |
00:20:14

Why Dave Decided to talk with Carrie about Being Married to an Entrepreneur:

After years and years of grinding in the entrepreneurial world, Dave and Carrie are now at a point where they feel they can see clearly through the clouds of life. The message that they want to share with you all from this moment of hindsight and excitement towards the future are 3 of the 7 Secrets to Being Married to an Entrepreneur. As entrepreneurs still on the journey they want to share with you the importance of enjoying the journey, the essentiality of transparence, and a personal story or two that just might put your Dave Woodward trivia to the test.

Tips and Tricks for You and Your Business:

(2:30) Secret #1 Ask Yourself, Are You Enjoying the Journey?

(5:01) The Woodwards’ Journey: When You Say ‘No’ to Med School and ‘Hello’ to Uncertainty

(8:44) Secret #2 Being Open and Transparent is Essential

(12:16) Secret #3 Your Relationship is a Team, Cooperate

Quotable Moments:

(3:20) “Realize that you also have to look at moments of how far you have come and not get caught up in how far you have to go.”

(7:54) “The Entrepreneurial Journey for us was not a straight line, ours us much more of...it was like switchbacks. And that’s just life.”

(14:22) “Without that team effort, there’s no way we could have accomplished what we have done. And, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without knowing that she’d have my back the whole time.”

Other Tidbits:

As the wife behind the entrepreneur, Carrie has always struggled telling others her role in the family.

Important Episode Links:FunnelHackingLive.com FunnelHackerRadio.com FunnelHackerRadio.com/freetrial FunnelHackerRadio.com/dreamcar

---Transcript---

00:00     Welcome to funnel hacker radio podcast where we go behind the scenes and uncover the tactics and strategies top entrepreneurs are using to make more sales, dominate their markets and how you can get those same results. Here's your host, Dave Woodward. Everybody welcome back.

00:18     I'm so excited because this is my second episode of my wife, my Princess Carrie Woodward. So excited to have her here. Uh, we wanted to Kinda talk to you a little bit about what it takes to survive and entrepreneurial marriage. Seven secrets that we've looked at. We've been married now for 25 years and last. So a year ago, January, my son, our oldest son Chandler, got married and he married our first, our first daughter into our family of four boys. And Chandler's the oldest. So he married Fran, she's from Chile. And her experience as far as entrepreneurs, they were the people basically who couldn't get a job. They were always the broke people. And the idea of her husband wanting to become an entrepreneur was something that was really scary. So she was at funnel hacking live last year as well as this year where she kind of got introduced to a different idea of what an entrepreneur was having grown up in Chile, the way out of being an entrepreneur actually was going to college and getting a degree and I becoming a doctor, an attorney, an accountant, something that had a designations and letters behind it, that's the only way you could actually really make it.

01:25     And she got exposed to the fact that maybe you actually could even do better than a doctor, an attorney or an accountant or any other person with letters behind their names by actually being the entrepreneur who actually owns the business. And so we've had a lot of conversations with them and it's been interesting as my wife I were to sit in, you're talking about some of the things that we've learned over the last 25 years and thought, you know what? It might be fun to share those with you. So what are we going to do? Is, is tell you basically seven of the secrets that we've found to surviving being married to an entrepreneur. Sweetheart. I'm gonna let you take this away.

01:58     Okay. So when, when they went to, they're seeing them in this past year of them trying to take on this journey of wanting to chase their dreams and go after their goals and make a difference in the world and really go after their passions. It was just like a total eye opener for me of wow. Like looking back of what our past 25 years have been about. And I think that that was something that really started to make me look at it a little bit different and realize that the first secret with it is enjoying the journey. Because I think as entrepreneurs so many times you get so focused on the goal and it's so much work, right? I mean like you look at someone who is trying to go like that. Let's talk about the Olympics. First of all, they Olympics, I love watching these stories at the Olympics because it talks about what it took for those people to get there, right?

02:50     But with entrepreneurs, we sometimes forget that we're just like that. Like we have to work so hard and all those long training days through our journey in order to be able to get to the place where our goal is, wherever that that is. So I think that that's one of the things that as I, you know, we start talking to our son and our daughter in law that the importance of you guys have got to celebrate your wins and realize that you have to also look at moments of how far that you've come and not get so caught up in how far you have to go. Oh my gosh. That probably was one of the biggest weaknesses I had was the goal was so far out there that I, at times I just, yeah, I'd made a lot of wins and had been successful, but it was nowhere near where I wanted to go or be and our member times, my princess would be sitting there going, but look how far we've come.

03:45     I'm like, yeah, but look how much farther we have to go. And I think it's real important that you take the time to actually stop for a second and look back over that path and realize, oh my gosh, I can't believe how much I've learned, how much I've grown, how much I've made, the impact I've had and who I've become. Because I think part of the entrepreneurial journey is who you personally become through it all. And that's why when you're married to an entrepreneur, it's important that both of you understand there's a becoming phase and that becoming phase super critical, that you have to make sure that you celebrate the wins and you do. You enjoy the journey of becoming. Yeah, and I love that too. What you just said, because I think that's the importance of growth because you know, like, like that quote, nothing ever grows and comfort zones, we all can't stand it to be uncomfortable.

04:31     That's the worst thing in the whole world. But it's the only space that we grow. It's the only space that we change. It's the only space that we transform into who we are capable of becoming. And I think that that is super awesome, you know, it's interesting because a lot of times people get caught up in like, oh, I'm so miserable. I hate my job. I feel stuck. I feel all these things. Well then change it. But they won't change it. Right. Everyone loves to sit and complain, but no one wants to actually do something about. So the entrepreneurs are the ones who chose to do something about it and choosing to do something about it is not the easy road at all. But it is the most exciting, most amazing journey ever. And I think that that, as I look back at it, I think of, wow, 25 years.

05:18     Okay. Can I share that? How we started it? Okay. So I'll just do share this super quick. So when we first got married, we went down, Dave and I graduated from college together. I graduate with my bachelor's. He graduated with his masters. Well, he was going to get a second masters because of the field that he was going into. Well, we get down, we moved down to Texas, we get married and we're in school a semester and a half, right? And, and all of a sudden we have this feeling like, okay, the industry is changing and this isn't where we're supposed to be. We knew it. Like we just had this strong feeling confirmation. We just knew it wasn't where we were supposed to be and where we were supposed to go. So we made this huge jump and this leap of faith to jump out and to start our own business. And it was like, I think back at that now and I'm like, my dad's parents were probably thinking, what are you guys doing?

06:18     My Dad was furious. I'd been accepted to medical school and I bailed out on medical school. I then got a sec, I got a masters in exercise physiology and was then going back and getting them. And I'd just gotten married and now I'm getting a master's in physical therapy at the time. And leaving all of that. I had a full ride 4.0 and my dad's like, Dave, you have to understand you're married. You can't be doing this stupid stuff where you just don't know what you're doing. You're changing your mind all the time. And my dad, no, I really, I don't want to do this. He goes, it doesn't matter. You have to just suck it up. My Dad's an attorney and my mom was a nurse and so professional life was the only way you could ever be successful. And he's like, yeah, Dave, you will not make it as an entrepreneur. You just, you don't understand how hard it is.

07:00     So the interesting thing is that I think the importance of like sharing that story is that you have to know whatever your calling is, whatever your purpose is. And you have to follow that and you have the courage to follow it. And if you follow it, whatever journey it takes you on, it will be the one that you're supposed to go and, but you have to make sure that you are willing to be accepting of going in a direction and creating movement so that you can walk through whatever doors are gonna open for you and know that sometimes when you go in a certain journey, don't get so stuck on, that's the direction that you have to go. Always be open, always be open to what direction it takes you. And if you do that and you just trust the process, you will, you'll find whatever your purpose is, what of your calling is, whatever it is that you're supposed to do. Do you agree? Absolutely.

07:52     The Roi, at least for us, the entrepreneurial journey was not a straight line. Ours was much more of it. It varies. It was like switchbacks, but six days and that, and that is life. And I think that's the part it is for everybody and you just have to embrace that and enjoy it and really enjoy the journey.

08:08     Yeah. And I like, I can't, like, it's so interesting that so many friends of mine as you know, growing up as I was younger, you know, just starting our family and they're like, why aren't you doing what? What you're doing what you're doing? What? And then as I watched them who they had the quote unquote stable job, you know, now they're, they've, they've had to go from job to job to job, to job because they're always trying to grow and change and do things. So whether you Zigzag as an entrepreneur, are you zigzag, climbing up some other corporation, going from place to place, trying to find the job that you want. It's the same thing. So do what you love. Okay. Should we let journey, enjoy the journey. Okay. So the next thing, which I think is perfect, secret number two is do it as a team.

08:48     Super important. I made a massive mistake when I, when we first got going. And that was, I wanted to be the protector, the provider, and make sure that she never had any hardships or, or that I protected her from any of the bad stuff that was happening. And so when things went bad or wrong, I wouldn't tell her. And my princess is smart enough as any woman, is to be able to see all the other emotional baggage that I'm carrying. And she's like, I know something's wrong, gay. What's wrong? I'm like, sweetheart, everything's gonna be okay. Don't worry. I've got it. And like that I, that was a massive mistake because what happened was I didn't allow her to grow and to gain the emotional muscles that happen as you go through those types of a stressful situations together.

09:52     Yeah. So just make sure that you're totally open and transparent all the time and be honest with each other. Because I think that for me, that is where that, you know, like people will say to us like, how, Oh, you're so lucky you've been married for so long and it's worked for you. Are you kidding? Like it has not been a bed of roses and lilies and dandelions. It's been beautiful. And the reason why it is so special is because we have been through ups and downs together. Crazy and crazy ups and downs. And that's what makes the lilies and the roses and the dance, you know, like all of those beautiful things. That's what makes it amazing is because you go through that stuff together. So I think that, um, you know, like we've cried together, we've laughed together, we've done all of those things and, and it's, that's what's made these 25 years so beautiful because, because we've done it together

10:26     and I think that's the most important part is you have to be willing to share. And at times, especially the hard stuff, those are the hard conversations nobody wants to have. But as you have those and you grow together through those, it makes the wins so much, so much more amazing because you literally can cry through the winds in gratitude because you did it together.

10:47     Yeah. And just, and I think like that being, because okay, Dave tree, you actually jumped forward that was open and transparent about the good and the bad. So that, see, we'll call that secret number two now be open and transparent about the good and the bad. So the other thing to add to that is being open and transparent with the good and the bad. Be forgiving of each other. I think that, you know, as I'm around like other couples and stuff, you know, and I hear, I hear people complain about each other and, and, and it just, it's so good for me because it makes me look at myself in the mirror. It makes me think, wait, do I do that? Do I complain? Do I, do I not just stand to the side and, and, or not stand to the side, but stand next to him and kind of, you know, make sure that I, I'm there for him and that I'm, that I'm positive and that I'm supportive.

11:37     And that even when he has to share with me the ugly and he's being transparent and honest, that I'm appreciative of it and I'm grateful for it instead of angry. And I think that that's, it's not an easy thing to do. No, it's not an easy thing to do, but it's so, and, and we're continuing to learn that as, as, as years go on. But it's important to make sure that you, um, that you make sure that you're open and transparent and when your partner is being open and transparent, be grateful for that and allow yourself to receive it and accepted. Okay, so let's move on to do it as a team, which we're going to call that number three now. And what we were talking about with that was understanding your position on the team. Right? Okay. So what does that mean? That means like, you know, not everyone can be the quarterback. All of our kids have been really into doing sports growing up. And it's so funny, like you have all the parents are like, I want my kid to be the quarterback, or I want them to be, you know, this position and the one that gets all the attention and the wide receiver or the light Becker. And it's important for them to understand that the a team cannot be successful unless everyone understands their position in every position is just as important as the quarterback.

12:49     I think that's real critical. My wife has been amazing as far as supporting me through a lot of these crazy ups and downs. And I think for, for me that the most important part of that has been making sure I reciprocated as well. There's things that she wanted to do and I needed to make sure that I was there to support her in those things. Uh, one of the things, my wife is an amazing athlete, amazing runner. Uh, she's literally a world class marathon runner. And I, it was, even though at the time, running wasn't one of my greatest passions, I knew how important it was for her. And because of that, we would spend time going out and I would be there on her early morning runs on Saturday. She'd get up at five o'clock in the morning, go on long runs and, and I'd be out there bringing the water tour or doing everything I could to support her in that as we've traveled to the different events to make sure that I was there as a support because she had been there supporting me through thick and thin through the ups and the downs of the entrepreneurial journey there was important for me to be able to do the exact same thing.

13:50     And I think too often we get focused on it's only, it's a one sided approach. You Ha if someone's going to support you, you have to be able to reciprocate that. And for me, reciprocating that has been, uh, making sure she's able to find the things that she enjoyed and to really encourage her to go out and to do those types of things. At the same time. She's been an amazing support and I traveled a ton and even I traveled quite a bit right now. And with that, she's always been home taking care of raising our four boys. And without that team effort, there's no way in the world we could have accomplished what we've done. And I couldn't, I couldn't go and do what I do without knowing that she had my back all the time,

14:34     which is a give and take and so many ways because I think that one, you know, what day was just referring to is probably a whole nother secret. And that is don't get lost in yourself and make sure you have your own hobbies and things and things that give you for fulfillment. Um, and I think that, you know, Dave's always been really, really good at, at making sure that he pushed me towards that. And I am so grateful for that. And I think that, um, you know, for me there's been, there's been years and, and different, you know, things that we've done where we've worked together side by side. There's been things where we've done our own thing. And then there's been times where I've realized or not, I, we have realized as a team that in order for our team to be successful, in order for him to push at the level that he can push, I needed to be the one to take care of the kids.

15:26     And, and you know, that's a hard thing because sometimes like, like you get, you know, you go with people and I met, I'm, you know, in that phase where people are like, oh gosh, you know, what is it that you do? You have such great kids and, and we, we, we have been blessed with an amazing, amazing, amazing boys and I couldn't feel and be more grateful for that. Um, I also know that, you know, we've had our ups and downs, you know, the normal struggles and things that every family has. People you have, everyone has it, everyone has it. But I think that we've worked through all of those and we, because we've stayed so close as a family, meaning that we had to kind of set our team up a little bit different and realize that, okay, with the level and intensity these last couple of years that Dave has been pushing or different times in our life that I needed to focus on the kids.

16:18     And that was a hard thing for me and some places because, you know, we'd go to these events and be like, oh, so what do you do? And I'm like, Oh, I am like managing the home front so that we can all, so that we can make this thing happen. And I think that that's the thing is that you have to be, you have to know that not everyone can be the quarterback sometimes and it's give and take with each other spouses that sometimes it's for you. Sometimes it's for them. Um, and these last, uh, you know, a little bit, it's been 100% as these kids, you know, we've had weekends where it's been intense with the kids in there, all the different things that they've been having to do. And we've just had to know that, okay, this is what my position on the team needs to be.

17:02     This is what his position needs to be on the team. Does that mean what everyone else has to be like that? No, you have to decide what your plays are, what your team looks like and you got to decide how that's going to work so that your family can stay together. And for us, our family reunion, that was like one of our huge goals for us is that it didn't matter how much money we made or how much success we had if our family was a mess. And I think that, you know, just looking at different, different things that you go through in life that I'm watching my kids like how close they are. And I really, and I am grateful that we did our team the way that we've done where we've just really hunkered down and tried to manage what position and

17:50     everyone is in different stages of life so that we can, um, try to create that, that family unit that we desired to have. I think that for us, one of things we've gone, we've tried to live by is that no success can compensate for failure in the home. And we've really tried to focus most on family and to make sure that as we're doing that, that our family came first. Not to say there's an equal balance at all times, but honestly, the most important thing for us has always been to make sure that we focused in on and making sure that that happened. All right. That is the first three secrets of our series of seven secrets to survive and entrepreneurial marriage. So please first of all, let us know what you think about it. So if you don't mind either leave a comment down below, send me a personal message on Facebook or Instagram, email, whatever, however you'd like to reach out to me.

18:41     But also let me know what are the things that you've done. Uh, one of the things that you're doing in your marriage as an entrepreneur, how are you, what are the, how are you surviving as the spouse of an entrepreneur or an entrepreneur or as the entrepreneur self? What are the things you're doing to make sure that your life and your spouse and your life with your family is, is fulfilling and most importantly that it's, it's not all business business, business. So let us know. We're super excited to hear about that and tune in next time before the second part of the remaining four secrets to surviving and entrepreneurial marriage.

19:17     Harry, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to podcasts. And one of the things we're really passionate about is trying to get everyone up and running as fast as they possibly can. And one of the things we've done recently that has helped so many people and that is are one funnel away challenging. If you don't mind it, it's something of interest to you. We actually will pay you $100 for anybody who signs up for the one funnel away challenge or if you want to go ahead and sign up and do it yourself, just go to one funnel away, challenge.com again, that's one funnel away, challenge.com sign up, go through a 30 day challenge. Uh, it's one of the great things. We've got Russell basically giving you a 10,000 foot level. Julie Swing comes in and gives you, kind of hear the nuts and bolts of exactly how to make it work. And then Steven comes in every single day and spends time basically telling you exactly what to do on a daily basis. So heels you to hold your feet to the fire. Super Accountable. We've had more people get more success and things out of this than anything else. So go ahead and sign up@onefunnelaway.com. Thanks.

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